I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. My emotions are constantly going up and down all day long and I become sensitive even with the littlest insult and I don’t like it, at all. I think it’s cause I keep thinking about the future and what’s going to happen, whether I’ll be able to cope once he leaves or will I slowly lose myself and become a hollow shell. I want to enjoy the present but I keep worrying about the future and I probably have every reason to. I’m a complete failure in life and my parents pretty much hate me for it. All I really want is to be happy and I’m happy when I’m with him cause he can make me smile, but he can also take it away. Sigh, life really is a roller coaster.
Although New Year’s Eve wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be, I’m just glad that I decided to stay and wait for Max. Being able to stay at his is such a privilege and I nearly turned it down yesterday, must’ve been crazy.
We spent today together and it went perfectly. Last year, we had a very cute New Years kiss and although we only saw each other for briefly thirty minutes, it was still worth getting into trouble for.
It’s a very good start to 2013 and hopefully it continues, cause right now, I’m very content with where I am in my life.
Gonna be tough not seeing him for a week, again, but ah well, time apart is good if you want a healthy relationship and it’s what we need, lurl. And that’s why Skype was invented. On the plus side, get to briefly see him on results day, woo!
I may not be able to hug, kiss or touch him right now but just seeing his face and his smiles, it makes my day and it makes me realise how much I love and miss him. It really is true; distance makes the heart grow stronger.
Anybody up for that?